Saturday, April 11, 2009

After the storm

Did anyone else feel the connection between the storms of last night and the fact that it was Good Friday? Good Friday, the day Jesus was crucified, the day the heavens turned black. I found it unsettling. I approach today with a feeling of emptiness and despair. I worry about my children. I worry about the economy. I worry about my inability to make it better for them.

I could sit down and cry with depression. Maybe this is how the disciples felt.

I did not sleep last nite for examining over and over in my mind every decision I've made since 1972. Every move, every change that affected my children and my failed marriage to their father. If only I could go back and do over so many things. Would life be better for us? I'll never know. Its painful to re-visit the old hurts.

Save your breath, I know I have much for which to be thankful.

I KNOW that God forgives us. I KNOW that Jesus died on that cross so that we can be saved from our sins. Tomorrow, I KNOW that we will celebrate his resurrection. Tomorrow, I need to KNOW that my children will be OK.
My heart knows it is so, my head needs a sign.

1 comment :

  1. Every single moment and experience has made us who we are today. Yes, things would be different - but we don't know if it would be better or worse. I am thankful to have gone through what we have over the years. It has brought you and I closer than any other mother/daughter that I know. I am so thankful for our friendship. God has known what our plans were long before we were even here. He knows what he has taken us through, and what he will take us through before he is finished. Good always comes from bad, you just have to look for it sometimes. I love you with all my heart!