We haven't been faithful about getting to church for the past few months. There are plenty of excuses, but that's not the point of this post. Sunday morning as I began to get dressed, I started putting on winter clothes from last years (yes, YEARS... as in some of them need to be given away) and found that nothing fits! When a woman says she "has nothing to wear", sometimes she REALLY doesn't! This was definitely my case! To make matters worse, my dear husband stood in the closet as I tried on and off several things. Finally, in frustration, I asked him to PLEASE leave me alone to deal with my problem! He waited quietly while I struggled to find something that would do... finally, I found a jacket that I could wear unbuttoned and pretend that it almost fit. I felt sooo low.. and soooo fat! I was depressed, frustrated and disappointed in myself. I dreaded going to church for fear it might be communion and I would have to parade my fat body in front of the entire congregation.
As church began, a couple sat down in the pew in front of us that really shook me to my roots! Here I sat feeling fat and ugly yet in front of me sat a lovely couple who are dealing with a terrible disease. The husband is a local doctor, 49 years old and has Alzheimers. It's some rare type that is totally irreversible, untreatable and fast moving. His wife is a nurse and their only daughter has just gone to college for her freshman year. Suddenly, my lack of fashionable clothing seemed so insignificant. Isn't it amazing how sometimes God just yanks you back into your place and shows you what is REALLY important?
The service was one of music and as I watched and listened to the choirs, the Dr. was directly in my line of sight. There was no way to look away. I was painfully aware of all that they have lost and will lose and all that I have to be thankful for. The Dr was almost childlike as he swayed to some of the music, sat forward (almost leaning on the pew in front of them), and grinned boyishly at his wife. He was obviously "in the moment" and enjoying the music. Just last Christmas he played the trumpet beautifully at the Christmas Eve service.
Oh, Dear Lord, what a way you have of bringing us to our knees! What a way you have of opening our eyes to all the good things we have around us. What glorious plans you have for each of us. You never promised it would be easy, but you did promise to always be there with us.
And I'm certain it doesn't matter to you at all if my clothes fit or are "in style". Thank you for all that I have and all that I am because of your Son who died for me.